The One You Can Never Put Your Finger On (Or In)

I swear every lesbian or bisexual girl has experienced this.  The straight girl who just wont go away.  The one who wont stop flirting with you, teasing you, making you imagine how glorious it would be to fuck her but wont ever give out or even let you know she likes you.


Now this girl existed for me before I got into my current relationship.  It was a couple of years ago, in my previous job.  Now let  me get this straight, my old job was full of young people.  It was a veritable breeding ground for inter-colleague relationships.  I didn't leave my uni years through uni, I lived them through this job.  Everything was just MORE then uni- more booze, more sex, more drugs, more silliness.


Anyway, this place pretty much bred attractive, young women and one of these women I really liked.  I will refer to her as Beth.  Beth is a nice girl, bubbly, funny and popular.  She is not hugely attractive (there were others that were prettier) but she has turned a few heads in her time.  Now Beth is straight, although I believe she has slept with a woman before as part of a threesome.


Now you know when you get a vibe from someone?  Its indescribable.  You just feel like there is something  there but you cant quite put your finger on what it is and why you feel that way.  Now at the time, she used to flirt and it often crossed my mind whether she liked me and if there was something there.


The reasons I think she did like me are as follows:

- She most notably once said 'No, I wouldn't kiss her (in reference to a friend) but I'd kiss someone else' and  then looked directly at me
- She used to occasionally put her hand on my hip when walking past me
- She jumped at the chance when I offered that she stay over
- Sometimes I felt her looking at me
- It was kinda awkward when we spoke


The reasons I think she didn't:

- I think she might just like the attention
- She once said 'I don't want to sleep with a woman again'
- I might be imagining it all

Its one of those situations where you don't know whether its a hopeful fantasy you have created in your mind.  In short, there is no way for me to know without asking her.  These days, I am happy in a relationship and don't work with her anymore, so its become irrelevant to me.  However, as much as I don't want her anymore and don't believe I ever will again, I would still like to know if these feelings were reciprocated.  Maybe one day I'll pluck up the courage to ask.