I'm a big fan of the classics, I did my dissertation on Dickens, read Thomas Hardy for fun and Scott Fitzgerald is my favourite author of all time.
There are two bloggers turned authors though that have really opened by eyes to the literary world..
The first is Zoe Margolis, known as 'Girl With A One Track Mind'.' Zoe has written two biographies, 'A Girl With A One Track Mind' and 'A Girl With A One Track Mind Exposed' under the guise of Abby Lee. She remained anonymous in order to write honestly and without limit and she "decided to write about sex in my blog because I felt that the feminist and female-centred perspective is missing from mainstream media." However, soon after her book was published, the Sunday Times published an article in August 2006 which revealed the identity of the author as Zoe Margolis, an assistant director in the film industry. Nowadays she spends her time mostly writing and speaking about blogging, technology, feminism and sex.
The second is Dr Brooke Magnanti, aka 'Belle Du Jour.' You may have heard of her due to the hit TV series 'Belle Du Jour' starring Billie Piper. Maganati, like Margolis was an anonymous blogger writing about sex. Magnati however was a call girl and her writing chronicled her experiences as such. Similarly to Margolis, Magnanti was outed due to media pressure, and in November 2009, reportedly fearing her real identity was about to come out, she revealed her real name to and occupation as a child health scientist to the Sunday Times. Magnanti is currently writing a novel which is out next year.
So, can you see any commonalities between these two writers? They are both bloggers, they enjoy writing about sex and love and they are candid (pornographic at times) with their subject matter. I respect their honesty, humour and dedication to writing through heartbreak, death and media scrutiny. Please check the blogs out, especially their early writing.
If I achieve a tenth of what they have I'll be over the moon.
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Saturday, 25 June 2011
I like big butts..
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture..
Sir Mix-A-Lot tells it like it is and I have to say, I agree with him. I like big butts. I like a gal with junk in her trunk. Some cushion for the pushin. OK, you catch my drift.
I like big everything really (and no not in the way you are thinking). I mean I like it when someone has a bit of meat on their bone. Ive never dated anyone 'skinny.' None of the people I have been out with I would class as overweight, but nor are they skinny either. I cannot think of anything worse then hugging someone and being able to feel their bones or fucking someone and feeling their hips dig into you. Ugh. I like the feel of soft skin and hugs that feel like they are going to engulf you. I'm no chubby chaser nor do I have a problem with a partner being on the larger side either.
Ive often been asked by partners if I think they are overweight. Its always a resounding "no" (I've never thought a partner was overweight) followed up by "I really couldn't care less what you weigh, I'm with you for you" (equally true).
There have been guys and girls I have been with that really appreciate a buff body and I have never really understood that. Maybe its because as a teenager my best friend had an eating disorder and therefore I have bad associations with skinniness and dieting. I have also had partners with eating problems. Getting someone who has an eating disorder to understand that you love them no matter what and they are not fat is frustrating and upsetting in equal measure.
My girlfriend is a fitness fanatic, going to the gym at least once a day and often going for 15 mile jogs. It puts me to shame, the most exercise I ever do is walking 20 minutes to work everyday. I used to be really fit and healthy when I was at uni, playing football once a week and regularly going to the gym. In my childhood I was in all the teams at school, netball, hockey and most notably I was the only girl in an all boys football team. I won a trophy for my achievements in football (although realistically I think I got it for having the balls to be the only girl in an all boys football team). These days, I don't have the time, or more to the point, I'd rather spend my spare time drinking.
So off she goes to the gym, getting slimmer as time goes on. It makes me happy that she has such drive to do something and I respect that she looks after herself so well. However, it wouldn't matter to me if she ever put on weight either.
Regardless of the abs that are forming I will always love her big ol tush (which will hopefully remain) the most :-)
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture..
Sir Mix-A-Lot tells it like it is and I have to say, I agree with him. I like big butts. I like a gal with junk in her trunk. Some cushion for the pushin. OK, you catch my drift.
I like big everything really (and no not in the way you are thinking). I mean I like it when someone has a bit of meat on their bone. Ive never dated anyone 'skinny.' None of the people I have been out with I would class as overweight, but nor are they skinny either. I cannot think of anything worse then hugging someone and being able to feel their bones or fucking someone and feeling their hips dig into you. Ugh. I like the feel of soft skin and hugs that feel like they are going to engulf you. I'm no chubby chaser nor do I have a problem with a partner being on the larger side either.
Ive often been asked by partners if I think they are overweight. Its always a resounding "no" (I've never thought a partner was overweight) followed up by "I really couldn't care less what you weigh, I'm with you for you" (equally true).
There have been guys and girls I have been with that really appreciate a buff body and I have never really understood that. Maybe its because as a teenager my best friend had an eating disorder and therefore I have bad associations with skinniness and dieting. I have also had partners with eating problems. Getting someone who has an eating disorder to understand that you love them no matter what and they are not fat is frustrating and upsetting in equal measure.
My girlfriend is a fitness fanatic, going to the gym at least once a day and often going for 15 mile jogs. It puts me to shame, the most exercise I ever do is walking 20 minutes to work everyday. I used to be really fit and healthy when I was at uni, playing football once a week and regularly going to the gym. In my childhood I was in all the teams at school, netball, hockey and most notably I was the only girl in an all boys football team. I won a trophy for my achievements in football (although realistically I think I got it for having the balls to be the only girl in an all boys football team). These days, I don't have the time, or more to the point, I'd rather spend my spare time drinking.
So off she goes to the gym, getting slimmer as time goes on. It makes me happy that she has such drive to do something and I respect that she looks after herself so well. However, it wouldn't matter to me if she ever put on weight either.
Regardless of the abs that are forming I will always love her big ol tush (which will hopefully remain) the most :-)
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
Are lesbians more forward these days?
Is it just me or are lesbians more forward these days? I swear I've had more attention in the past month then I have had in the few years Ive been out.
Take the other day for example. I was entering work and a young woman was holding the lift open for me. I was so far from the lift she could have easily carried on her journey. However, she went out of her way to hold the door open and beckon me in. Once in, I thanked her. Looking up, I saw a attractive young gay woman. I knew she was gay not because she fits the stereotype, but because I felt the vibe. We chatted casually and I got off at my floor, still talking as the lift door closed.
Yesterday I wandered into the toilets and she was in there washing her hands. We struck up a conversation and she asked me to lunch. "That would be great but.." I started, "You've got a girlfriend haven't you?" she chipped in. "Well yes" I admitted "I was going to say I've got a lot of meetings today." "Ah" she smiled "Oh well, I thought it was worth asking." "Thanks, I appreciate it" I smiled back. Then she was gone.
This got me thinking about forwardness and reflecting upon how I react to people who have confidence and guts. I like people who have the confidence to put themselves out there and take a risk, its sexy. There was one time however when I was shocked by someones forwardness. This occurred a year or so ago when I was in Revenge, having just split up from an ex. I started chatting to a girl at the bar and she offered to buy me a drink. We drank up and went for a dance. Happily dancing away, moving closer and closer, we leaned in to kiss. The moment we started kissing she grabbed my crotch. Literally, the moment our lips touched her hand was there, stroking me. It wasn't even subtle either, it was aggressive. Uncomfortably so.
I'm not a prude but I was shocked. Having been off the scene for a few months, I wondered if this was the 'in' thing and now socially acceptable. Buying a girl a drink now equals PDA's of the highest form.
I decided it was best to withdraw from the kiss and tell her I was heading to the toilets. Once there, I decided it was time to leave; it was late anyway and I'd lost my friends. I surreptitiously headed out of the club, glancing back to see her waiting for me on the dance floor. I felt bad leaving her there waiting for me, but I didn't want to swap numbers or go home with her but equally I didn't want to lie to her face.
On the way home I started thinking about why I had reacted so strongly. I'm not a prude after all and had just split up from someone, so would have relished the attention. However, the aggressiveness of her action (if she was that aggressive on the dance floor, I imagined she'd be doubly as so in the bedroom and that somewhat scared me), coupled with her forwardness put me off. I like to build up to a situation, even if its just a fondle and a snog.
Realistically I like a forward thinking woman, a woman who can express her mind and her body and who isn't afraid to display her passion. I respect an honest woman, one who tells me how she feels about me and whispers in my ear what she'd like to do to me. Confidence is a turn on and hugely outweighs an attractive face or buff body. However, I do have some social boundaries and I think groping someones crotch before you have even kissed them properly is mine.
Take the other day for example. I was entering work and a young woman was holding the lift open for me. I was so far from the lift she could have easily carried on her journey. However, she went out of her way to hold the door open and beckon me in. Once in, I thanked her. Looking up, I saw a attractive young gay woman. I knew she was gay not because she fits the stereotype, but because I felt the vibe. We chatted casually and I got off at my floor, still talking as the lift door closed.
Yesterday I wandered into the toilets and she was in there washing her hands. We struck up a conversation and she asked me to lunch. "That would be great but.." I started, "You've got a girlfriend haven't you?" she chipped in. "Well yes" I admitted "I was going to say I've got a lot of meetings today." "Ah" she smiled "Oh well, I thought it was worth asking." "Thanks, I appreciate it" I smiled back. Then she was gone.
This got me thinking about forwardness and reflecting upon how I react to people who have confidence and guts. I like people who have the confidence to put themselves out there and take a risk, its sexy. There was one time however when I was shocked by someones forwardness. This occurred a year or so ago when I was in Revenge, having just split up from an ex. I started chatting to a girl at the bar and she offered to buy me a drink. We drank up and went for a dance. Happily dancing away, moving closer and closer, we leaned in to kiss. The moment we started kissing she grabbed my crotch. Literally, the moment our lips touched her hand was there, stroking me. It wasn't even subtle either, it was aggressive. Uncomfortably so.
I'm not a prude but I was shocked. Having been off the scene for a few months, I wondered if this was the 'in' thing and now socially acceptable. Buying a girl a drink now equals PDA's of the highest form.
I decided it was best to withdraw from the kiss and tell her I was heading to the toilets. Once there, I decided it was time to leave; it was late anyway and I'd lost my friends. I surreptitiously headed out of the club, glancing back to see her waiting for me on the dance floor. I felt bad leaving her there waiting for me, but I didn't want to swap numbers or go home with her but equally I didn't want to lie to her face.
On the way home I started thinking about why I had reacted so strongly. I'm not a prude after all and had just split up from someone, so would have relished the attention. However, the aggressiveness of her action (if she was that aggressive on the dance floor, I imagined she'd be doubly as so in the bedroom and that somewhat scared me), coupled with her forwardness put me off. I like to build up to a situation, even if its just a fondle and a snog.
Realistically I like a forward thinking woman, a woman who can express her mind and her body and who isn't afraid to display her passion. I respect an honest woman, one who tells me how she feels about me and whispers in my ear what she'd like to do to me. Confidence is a turn on and hugely outweighs an attractive face or buff body. However, I do have some social boundaries and I think groping someones crotch before you have even kissed them properly is mine.
Thursday, 16 June 2011
Sex Pest
"You have become a sex pest" my girlfriend announced. My hands drop from her breasts and I let her continue making dinner. This has become an increasingly regular statement of hers.
Admittedly I have become a bit of a pest of late. We don't do it as much as we used to/ I'd like and it has started to make me anxious. Not because I think something is wrong with the relationship, just because I've got the horn. All the time.
Her attitude to sex is the less you get the less you want. This seems to be the standard female reaction; out of sight out of mind. My attitude however (or my vagina's perspective as such) is the less I get the more I want. My girlfriend often states "your sexual attitude is more similar to a man then a woman." Oh. Thanks.
I decided to air my woes to a friend who decided to offer me a rather interesting solution..
Her: What about doing your own dirty work?
Me: Not the same
Her: I could offer you my services..I owe you a favour for hooking me up with that girl last month
Me: Ha! Thanks mate but not sure my girlfriend would be too thrilled about that
Her: Well you know where I am if you change your mind
Me: Thanks, your generosity never ceases to amaze me
Her: You know me, always thinking of others
The funny thing is I know she's not joking. The lesbian community never fails to lend a helping hand. So to speak.
With that option put to bed (ha) I decided I had to think this through. Admittedly we don't do it as much as we used to, but we still do it regularly. So why am I becoming such a pest? Is it something to do with age? Or am I having some sort of sexual awakening? As a child of the tech generation, I decided the best course of action was to google it. I found as follows..
"The age of sexual is different for everyone and can vary greatly. There are a lot of factors that have to be taken into consideration such as if you are on any sort of hormone treatment, if you have had your ovaries removed, what your natural hormone levels are, physical condition, stress, psychological issues, your attitude towards sex, etc."
That all makes sense but I want figures. Generally, when is a woman's sexual peak? The results I got were varied but seemed to suggest between 25-40. Riiiight, I'm 25 this year so its likely my frustrations are set to increase further. Great.
In short, please bear with me. If I start humping your leg, take pity. And sorry about the wet patch.
Admittedly I have become a bit of a pest of late. We don't do it as much as we used to/ I'd like and it has started to make me anxious. Not because I think something is wrong with the relationship, just because I've got the horn. All the time.
Her attitude to sex is the less you get the less you want. This seems to be the standard female reaction; out of sight out of mind. My attitude however (or my vagina's perspective as such) is the less I get the more I want. My girlfriend often states "your sexual attitude is more similar to a man then a woman." Oh. Thanks.
I decided to air my woes to a friend who decided to offer me a rather interesting solution..
Her: What about doing your own dirty work?
Me: Not the same
Her: I could offer you my services..I owe you a favour for hooking me up with that girl last month
Me: Ha! Thanks mate but not sure my girlfriend would be too thrilled about that
Her: Well you know where I am if you change your mind
Me: Thanks, your generosity never ceases to amaze me
Her: You know me, always thinking of others
The funny thing is I know she's not joking. The lesbian community never fails to lend a helping hand. So to speak.
With that option put to bed (ha) I decided I had to think this through. Admittedly we don't do it as much as we used to, but we still do it regularly. So why am I becoming such a pest? Is it something to do with age? Or am I having some sort of sexual awakening? As a child of the tech generation, I decided the best course of action was to google it. I found as follows..
"The age of sexual is different for everyone and can vary greatly. There are a lot of factors that have to be taken into consideration such as if you are on any sort of hormone treatment, if you have had your ovaries removed, what your natural hormone levels are, physical condition, stress, psychological issues, your attitude towards sex, etc."
That all makes sense but I want figures. Generally, when is a woman's sexual peak? The results I got were varied but seemed to suggest between 25-40. Riiiight, I'm 25 this year so its likely my frustrations are set to increase further. Great.
In short, please bear with me. If I start humping your leg, take pity. And sorry about the wet patch.
Sunday, 12 June 2011
My Dream Family
I had a dream last night I was pregnant. This dream was so vivid, I woke up this morning with my hand on my belly, protecting my unborn dream child.
The dream involved me being pregnant and unsure when the baby was going to drop, frantically trying to get home in order to give birth in a safe, secure place. It was a dream that was mixed with distress and happiness; distress that my baby was going to be born prematurely or somewhere undesireable, and happiness that I was pregnant.
This dream reminded me of numerous conversations I have had with friends and family about having kids at some point in my life. Friends have enquired 'what are you going to do if you are with a woman?' whilst my mum's more direct approach of 'its easier to be with a man, just be with a man' still rings in my head. In all honesty, I've never questioned how I'll have children. This isnt because I think I'll end up with a man and therefore all will be easy, its because I know when I decide to have children I will do anything to make it happen. Of course it would be easier to procreate with a man, but I'd rather live an honest life then a simple one.
The ways a lesbian couple can conceive are as follows..
-adoption
-IVF
-having a child with a male friend
All three options are either difficult, financially draining, stressful or a combination of all three. However, they dont scare me as such, they are just an obstacle to overcome, muchlike finding the job or house of your dreams. Nothing worth having is easily attainable.
The one thing that does disconcert me about being in a lesbian relationship and having kids is that whoever I end up with, we wont be able to have a child that is genetically half mine and half theirs. This upsets me. Logically I can see, however, that if we have a child together, be it genetically hers or mine, I will love him or her either way. The fact I love my beautiful god-daughters (7 month old twins) as if they are family and spend a small fortune on them says alot I think.
In short, it was a great dream filled with complications. Complications that will ultimately manifest themselves in real life. Scary but true. Scary but exciting.
The dream involved me being pregnant and unsure when the baby was going to drop, frantically trying to get home in order to give birth in a safe, secure place. It was a dream that was mixed with distress and happiness; distress that my baby was going to be born prematurely or somewhere undesireable, and happiness that I was pregnant.
This dream reminded me of numerous conversations I have had with friends and family about having kids at some point in my life. Friends have enquired 'what are you going to do if you are with a woman?' whilst my mum's more direct approach of 'its easier to be with a man, just be with a man' still rings in my head. In all honesty, I've never questioned how I'll have children. This isnt because I think I'll end up with a man and therefore all will be easy, its because I know when I decide to have children I will do anything to make it happen. Of course it would be easier to procreate with a man, but I'd rather live an honest life then a simple one.
The ways a lesbian couple can conceive are as follows..
-adoption
-IVF
-having a child with a male friend
All three options are either difficult, financially draining, stressful or a combination of all three. However, they dont scare me as such, they are just an obstacle to overcome, muchlike finding the job or house of your dreams. Nothing worth having is easily attainable.
The one thing that does disconcert me about being in a lesbian relationship and having kids is that whoever I end up with, we wont be able to have a child that is genetically half mine and half theirs. This upsets me. Logically I can see, however, that if we have a child together, be it genetically hers or mine, I will love him or her either way. The fact I love my beautiful god-daughters (7 month old twins) as if they are family and spend a small fortune on them says alot I think.
In short, it was a great dream filled with complications. Complications that will ultimately manifest themselves in real life. Scary but true. Scary but exciting.
Monday, 6 June 2011
Tattoos
Everyone has their 'thing' that attracts them to certain people. A fetish you may call it. Some like overweight people, some like piercings, some like bad boys (or girls), some like tattoos and some like accents. For me the latter two are applicable. Tattoos however, are most my thing.
I really REALLY like tattoos on a partner. Whether it's a male or female partner, wherever on the body, whatever it is. I like tattoos pure and simple.
I once dated someone as they had a mighty collection of tattoos. Lying in bed just looking at the tattoos was a favourite past-time for me. I found them mesmerising. I also like talking about tattoos. I have had many conversations with people about tattoos, why they got them and where they stood in that point in their life. I find you can strike up a conversation with someone you barely know, talk about tattoos and you feel you know them inside and out. They are immensely personal.
I got my tattoo when I was amidst coming out, and a couple of years after my grandmother had died. It is a culmination of both grief and awakening; the most powerful emotions I have experienced. For me, my tattoo means I am carrying my grandmother with me wherever I go, and when I have a bad moment I look at it and realise how lucky I am to be alive and lament on how immensely proud of me she would be.* Similarly, it also reminds me to be who I am, speak my mind and live my life honestly and without fear.
I was recently speaking to a friend and we were talking about the beauty of tattoos and the significance of them. She told me how she had once read an article claiming that they are a form of self harm. In one way this makes entire sense, in an other its actually quite insulting and unbelievable. Admittedly, I got mine at a reasonably tumultuous time in my life and one could view it as an outer expression of my grief. However, I (and I believe my friend too) would like to believe they are more then that, they are a reflection of who you are, good and bad.
In short, tattoos tell a story of who you are. I believe they say more about a person then clothing or any other aspect of human appearance.
I'm hoping to get another soon- to the drawing board!
*to note: my tattoo is an 'M' and resides on my right wrist
I really REALLY like tattoos on a partner. Whether it's a male or female partner, wherever on the body, whatever it is. I like tattoos pure and simple.
I once dated someone as they had a mighty collection of tattoos. Lying in bed just looking at the tattoos was a favourite past-time for me. I found them mesmerising. I also like talking about tattoos. I have had many conversations with people about tattoos, why they got them and where they stood in that point in their life. I find you can strike up a conversation with someone you barely know, talk about tattoos and you feel you know them inside and out. They are immensely personal.
I got my tattoo when I was amidst coming out, and a couple of years after my grandmother had died. It is a culmination of both grief and awakening; the most powerful emotions I have experienced. For me, my tattoo means I am carrying my grandmother with me wherever I go, and when I have a bad moment I look at it and realise how lucky I am to be alive and lament on how immensely proud of me she would be.* Similarly, it also reminds me to be who I am, speak my mind and live my life honestly and without fear.
I was recently speaking to a friend and we were talking about the beauty of tattoos and the significance of them. She told me how she had once read an article claiming that they are a form of self harm. In one way this makes entire sense, in an other its actually quite insulting and unbelievable. Admittedly, I got mine at a reasonably tumultuous time in my life and one could view it as an outer expression of my grief. However, I (and I believe my friend too) would like to believe they are more then that, they are a reflection of who you are, good and bad.
In short, tattoos tell a story of who you are. I believe they say more about a person then clothing or any other aspect of human appearance.
I'm hoping to get another soon- to the drawing board!
*to note: my tattoo is an 'M' and resides on my right wrist
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